Those Damn Squirrels Again!

I live in the mountains. That means whenever anything goes wrong with any thing in my life, the problem gets blamed on either squirrels or gophers.
A few years ago, when my car was only six months old, my horn broke. Okay this could have been cause by me honking at flatlanders for twelve straight miles. That could have been the cause. When I took my car into Subaru, the service manager said to me
“You live in the mountains? Well squirrels must have chewed through your wires!”
And no it would not be covered by a warranty. So should i just assume for the future because I live in the mountains every problem with my car should be related to hungry squirrels? My tires are bald and I need new ones… MOST HAVE BEEN CHEWED ON BY SQUIRRELS! My clutch went out. DAMN SQUIRRELS MUST HAVE CHEWED RIGHT THROUGH MY CLUTCH! I guess I better get out the Air rifle for squirrel hunting if that’s the case. Anyways, turns out Service manager Dan at Subaru was wrong about the pesky rodents chewing through my wires. It was just a faulty horn on my brand new car and it was covered by warranty. Ha. Amber one, mountain zero. I won that time. Although, in retrospect, perhaps I overreacted about the squirrels – I’m sure someone like this Humane Squirrel Removal in Sandy Springs service would do a great job of removing them without causing them any harm.
So today I have a friend from church over remodeling my bathroom. He had to turn off my water and when he went to turn off my meter he said it was covered by over a foot of mud and dirt and there is no way it could have been read in years. It looks like, at least, last winters snow plow must have covered up the meter with a ton of dirt, mud and gravel. Obviously Arrowbear Water Company has not actually read my meter in a very long time. Its ‘spose to be read every month, that’s how they calculate my bill. Or I thought that was how, obviously they just guest-a-mate.
I shouldn’t have been surprised when the lady at Arrowbear Water Company told me that the gophers must have covered up my meter just this morning. Okay maybe that is not exactly the way she said it, but when I told her the meter didn’t look like it had been read in years she informed me the gophers must have buried it. They must have been very busy all morning with their little shovels, hard at work to cover my meter with over a foot of hard packed dirt. I’ve seen gophers dig tunnels and eat my plants before, but I had no idea that they were so great at moving piles and piles of dirt! They should go work for Cal Trans! Instead of wasting away their little rodent lives in my back yard, eating my tomato plants.
Also the lady at ArrowBear Water informed me they had my address as 32879, not 32878. Its been that way for at least the seven years that I’ve lived here. So does that mean they have been looking for a house on the opposite side of the street the whole time while looking for my meter and just gave up every time? So the meter guy just showed up to turn the water off for my contractor and he’s still looking for 32878. Really? I just called and said my house number is 32878, shouldn’t they have changed it in the computer just now?