I can’t wait to be a dirty camper again. I also can’t wait to shove a Keto Cheese Bowl at my face again. This right here is one of my favorite keto life hacks I discovered in the summertime of 2025. But first, I had to embarrass myself by wondering if I needed 2 a.m. stitches in a place only my gynecologist usually sees. Welcome to camping; You did pack Band-Aids, right?
I swear, just two short months ago, I was sleeping in a smelly tent with a broken zipper while it rained for four days straight. That was before I fell into my camping Porta Potty, AKA the Crap Shack. I swear this is a story that happened when I was totally sober. Sure, on day two of this soggy adventure, as I lay on the hard ground with an aching pelvic area recalling what indoor plumbing was like, I may have thought, that’s it. No more camping. Then I got that old wanderlust to break out the tent, the camp kitchen and yes, the band-aids.
2 a.m. toilet tragedies; Welcome to camping
There are moments in life that define you. Birth. Marriage. The first time you tasted bison. Then there are the moments that just… humble you. Like that one time you fell pants down, into your camp toilet at 2 a.m. because your busted ankles decided to stage a rebellion mid-squat.
Yes. That happened.
Two months ago, I was camping in the 
glorious wilderness like some sort of rugged outdoor goddess (read: middle-aged woman in cowboy boots with a Pinterest board titled “Cheesy Camp Foods”). I’d been hiking all day on ankles that felt like they were constructed out of Firestone Tires, circa the year 2000. My joints? Shredded. My feet? Sore. My soul? Alive and well in the wilds of the scenic Eastern Sierra.
My bladder, so damn full. I had to have that 8 p.m. Sleepytime Tea. Before you could say, Bear Proof Ice Chest, it was 2 a.m. and Nature was calling. Where is my camp potty? Also, thank God I have a tent camp potty and I don’t have to go out in the rain to pee!
I unzipped my sleeping bag like a rustling bag of spicy gluten-free quinoa chips, fumbled out of the sleeping bag and stepped over the sleeping mutt. I then proceeded to attempt a very delicate, very vulnerable squat over my perfectly respectable, environmentally-friendly, biodegradable camp toilet.
The Night My Dignity Died in a Tent Porta-Potty
Except guess what? My ankles were like “Nope. Not today, you glorious she-beast.”
I collapsed directly into the camp commode.
Not metaphorically. Not “oops, I lost my balance.”
I fell in.
Like, inside the thing. Like, my gynecologist should bill me for this moment. Like the type of full-contact camping injury that leaves you with a bruise and a scrape somewhere that only gets sunlight during bikini wax season.
And as I’m flailing, tangled in t
he ghost of my own athleticism and my favorite genty thrifted leggings, in comes my dog—sweet, loyal, and extremely unhelpful—deciding that this is clearly a crisis that can only be solved by licking my face.
Because if you ever want to feel peak feral, try having a Catahoula enthusiastically French kiss you while you’re half-naked and wedged into a portable toilet at 2 a.m., bleeding from your… dignity.
At that moment, I had a choice. I could cry. I could panic. I could kick that damned Backwoods Bidetless Box. I could walk into the woods sobbing, never to return.
Instead, I laughed. And then I took some ibuprofen, wiped the dog slobber off my face, and swore on my bear-proof cooler that I’m never camping again without a toilet with an actual seat, a set of trekking poles, and possibly a personal assistan
t.
So let this be your warning: Camping will break you. In places you didn’t know could bruise.
And also, dogs are the worst nurses. And Keto Cheese Bowl may sound like what I fell into two months ago in the middle of the night, but it’s actually more than that; Keto Cheese Bowls are actually a glorious low-carb and oh so easy recipe. You can create this at home even if you haven’t mastered indoor (Camp) plumbing.
Keto Cheese Bowl; I love you almost as much as camping
And you know what, I’ll say it again, now that my bruises have faded, I can’t wait to go camping again! Wh
at do I love just about as much as camping? This scrumptious kind of Keto Taco Salad, served in a crispy low-carb Keto Cheese Bowl. I mean, what says summer more than taco salad? However, this is not your mama’s taco salad!
I make Keto Taco Salad a lot in the summertime and I have for years. It seems like every year I come up with a new version. This is the 2025 Kind-of-Keto-Taco-Salad. This Keto Cheese Bowl is kind of like a taco shell, but for people who own a Peloton and haven’t used it since 2021. I may be on a diet, but I’m not ashamed to admit that I have zero self-respect when it comes to cheese.
Sure, technically you can use a low-carb barbecue sauce for this recipe—if you’re i
nto that fake sugar aftertaste that makes you wonder if someone accidentally squeezed a melted Yankee Candle into your food. I’ve tried most of them, and let me tell you, many of these keto-friendly concoctions taste like regret, disappointment, and Splenda had a sad little baby. So when it comes to this Barbeque Bison Keto Cheese Bowl Concoction, You do you. If you want to use a keto-friendly barbecue sauce, I have options for you.
After much trial, error, and rage-tasting, I’ve managed to sniff out a few Keto barbecue sauces that don’t make me want to brush my tongue afterward. If a brand’s main sweetener ends in “-itol,” politely run the other way. Behold: my top 3 actually delicious low-carb BBQ sauces:
1. Primal Kitchen Classic BBQ Sauce
Sweetened with dates, not lab chemicals. It’s smoky, tangy, and doesn’t taste like you’re licking a Stevia packet. It’s paleo and Whole30 and JFK Jr. approved.
2. G Hughes Sugar-Free Hickory BBQ Sauce
Look, I know it says “sugar-free” and that usually means “flavor-free,” but this one? Not bad. The anti-sugar in here is sucralose. This hickory-flavored sauce doesn’t coat your mouth in weirdness. It actually resembles real barbecue sauce. Imagine that.
3. Homemade Keto BBQ Sauce (Because Sometimes You Just Can’t Trust Anyone)
Make your own. Seriously. Grab some tomato paste, apple cider vinegar, smoked paprika, garlic powder, a little Worcestershire, thyme from your garden, obvioulsy some bacon fat and monk fruit sweetener if you must. It takes 15 minutes, doesn’t taste like battery acid, and no one has to know you’re one step away from eating it with a spoon. When it comes to homemade Keto barbecue sauce, I think this recipe is pretty good. I personally don’t think the Swerve Sweetener has too much of a blah fake sugar aftertaste.
No Tortillas, No Problem: BBQ Bison Taco Salad in a Keto Cheese Shell
For the edible Keto Cheese Bowl
1 pound of bison
1/2 cup of barbeque sauce
1 ear of corn, roasted, cut off the cob
Cook the bison in a saucepan. Add in the corn and the barbecue sauce until hot.
For the salad part
1 cup of shredded green cabbage
1 cup of shredded romaine
1 cup of shredded red cabbage
3 radishes, sliced thin
1/4 cup of pickled red onions
1 small can of sliced black olives
1/4 cup of pickled jalapenos
1/4 cup crumbled feta
2 teaspoons fresh chopped cilantro
Now this is where we turn cheese into dinnerware
4 cups of your favorite shredded cheese (I use a Mexican cheese blend with extra sharp cheddar added)
1 teaspoon Tajin or spicy lime salt
To make these life-changing Keto Taco salad Keto Cheese Bowls, coat the bottom of your non-stick skillet with your favorite cheeses. Cook this on medium heat. You will know when it’s ready to flip the Keto Cheese Bowls because it will be pretty easy to flip with a large spatula. Flip the Keto Cheese Bowl over and let it cook 
on the underside.
Now, flip this Keto Cheese Bowl upside down over a bowl. Let the Keto Cheese Bowl cool. When you are ready to assemble your salad, you can just make it directly in this cheesy, crispy Keto Cheese Bowl!
Because carbs are the enemy and cheese is my emotional support food group.
In your Big Ass Cheesy Salad Bowl, firstly sprinkle some of the Tajin on the cheese layer. Then in a separate bowl, layer in your cabbages, lettuce and radishes. Toss these with the salad dressing. Add the veggies to your Keto Cheese Bowl.
In your pre-made Keto Cheese Bowl, add on a dollop of the cooked Barbeque Bison Goodness, then your feta, olives, pickled red onions and jalapenos. Add the cilantro last.
You are ready to shove this delicious summertime keto salad at your face!
