What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas… Bacon Edition

What is the most magically delicious food after a night of drinking?
Well that would be bacon of course!
What is the most horrible noise a hung over friend does not want to hear at ten a.m. in Vegas?
A fire alarm shrieking and screaming…for fifteen minutes… And her seven none hung over friends laughing their asses off as hotel security shows up and gets incredibly angry that I burnt the bacon.
That’s what happened in Vegas last week.
My biggest problem when I woke up that morning was that the room wouldn’t stop spinning.
It was nine a.m. and I was still drunk. I obviously had a great time in Vegas.
I was told I was the life of the party the night before.
When Claire dragged me out of the club and away from our comped table with free bottle service at Hakkasan at MGM she was so over Drunk Amber she told our other friends
“If Amber does not shut up I’m going to put her in a box!”
Heavens! No one wants to be put in a box! I guess? What does being put in a box mean anyways? I would have asked Claire but she was many Manhattans past making sense.   I had myself, moved into the phase of Drunk Amber where I just giggle and point and mumble and laugh at my own jokes and there is no point in trying to communicate with me at that point.
Some how Drunk Amber took out her contacts, pulled out her sleeping bag and passed the fuck out… Until nine a.m. When she woke up still drunk but seriously craving coffee and …. Yea… The room was spinning.
It started out like any other Vegas vacation; ten friends one giant suite at MGM signature towers.
Our room was awesome and easily slept all of us. Balcony overlooking the pool, Jacuzzi tub and best of all it had a full kitchen! Everyone involved in this trip was a huge foodie ( seriously, we spent an hour at Whole Foods on the way into Las Vegas) and we were looking forward to three days of girl time, good food, good beverages and maybe some dancing.
It was K’s 30th birthday celebration trip and I somehow managed to get us comped a table at MGMs new club Hakkasan. Not only that but we got free bottle service which honestly we did not need after enjoying vodka, Manhattans and(null) some delicious sour beers from Whole Foods in our suite.
The club was amazing. Our table was on the fifth floor on the edge of the railing above the dance floor. It felt like we were in our own private club and we had a fantastic night!
Than the infamous bacon incident happened the next morning.
Our room had a full kitchen and once the room stopped spinning I decided to make bacon for our friends.
Some of us were hung over and yes, all of us were hungry. ( Well, except for Manhattan loving Claire, but I’ll get to that)
Now I would like to blame what happened next on the fact that I never, ever use an electric stove and also I suck at using an electric stove.
As soon as I started making the bacon the room appeared to fill with smoke. There was a fan on the stove and I turned it to high.
It did nothing.
Kirstin opened the balcony door to let some of the smoke escape and started fanning the front door open.
Than the smoke alarm went off.
Did I mention Claire was very hung over?
As we were all trying to turn off(null) the smoke alarm, all while saying, “poor Claire!” The hotel security guard and hotel manager showed up with a fire extinguisher, probably thinking we were making drugs or something!
We tried to explain we were just cooking breakfast! They just stated at us in disbelief.
That’s when Claire jumped out of bed puking and ran for the bathroom.
It seriously took fifteen minutes for security to turn off the alarm and the whole time we were laughing our asses off and talking about how Claire was never going to talk to me again after this trip!