My friends and I were on the last leg of a very long drive back from Las Vegas.
The drive back from Las Vegas is always long but when you are in a hurry to be at home and see your boyfriend after three days out of state the drive takes even longer.
This had to be the most fun drive back from Vegas I have ever done. I don’t think I have ever laughed so much in one road trip!
At one point we had to stop in Victorville because most of us girls have small bladders and the off ramp we chose to get off on was in the worst area of ghetto Victorville I had ever seen. It was close to the prison ( obviously) and I felt like a thousand horror movies had been filmed near by.
So obviously we found a deserted play ground bathroom to urinate at. Pulling on my boots as we jumped out of the car I managed to put my boots on the wrong feet and tried to hobble to the bathroom like that.
“Does any one else feel like we are going to get raped here?” I asked as I hobbled towards the bathroom stall ( thinking, shit, it would probably be me with my stumbling wrong foot in boot gait at this moment. The good news was no one got raped ( in our group anyways) in Victorville that night. Although the bathroom stalls had no doors and I felt like we were in a prison bathroom.
It was so Orange is the New Black. Back in the car and safe from Victorville’s most talented rapist we just barely made it up to sixty five miles an hour again when we had to slam on the brakes.
It was the Victorville agriculture check, which is a stupid waste of tax dollars in my opinion. They used to actually stop you, make you roll down your windows and ask you questions, like
“Are you smuggling in any illegal Nevada animals today?” I know because I have smuggled a ferret into California before illegally. ( I was so wild and crazy when I was younger!)
Now my friends had no idea what the agriculture check was about so I had to tell them the smuggled ferret story from 1999. ( please see, https://hungrymountaineer.com/2013/11/vegas-buffets-ferrets-and-mayhem.html )
After this amazing true story was told, Amy busted up laughing and asked ( speaking about the border agents)
“How do they know we don’t have six pounds of pot and seven ferrets?!”
It had been a long drive through an empty desert filled with hours of laughter and we were all exhausted and just ready to be home already. We all found that thought super funny!
“Seven ferrets with the munchies I mean!”