Blisters, Vacation Dogs, & Brown Sugar Bliss: My Hike for the Perfect Cookie

Let’s be honest—I don’t hike 20 miles a day because I’m trying to be the poster child for REI. I hike 20 miles because I want to shove as many gooey, buttery, chocolate-filled calories into my face without feeling an ounce of guilt. And the best part? My dog is right there with me, bounding through pine needles and judging my snack intake only slightly less than my Fitbit does.

Some people train for marathons. I train for cookie consumption with elevation gain. It’s the life! But first I had to well, get in shape for a twenty-mile hike. Secondly, I had to use my best baker’s finesse to create this, the Best chocolate chip cookie recipe.

Ten miles.
Dog is rolling in something dead. I’m out of breath but still fantasizing about butter melting into warm dough.

Fifteen miles.
Hallucinating slightly. Pretty sure I saw a chipmunk wearing a Patagonia vest. I press on for the promise of sugar cookies five miles ahead just over that mountain ridge.

Twenty miles.

Dear Lord, there better be an entire chocolate cake at this mountain pass.

High Altitude, Higher Calories: The Best Chocolate Chip Cookie Ever (Yes, Even at 10,000 Feet)

Let me be clear—I’m not out here with some protein bar that tastes like regret and drywall.  A stale Promax Bar may be good enough for JFK Jr, as he takes a break from hiking to a bacteria-infested creek but not for this Backcountry Snack Sherpa. These cookies are my fuel, my motivation, and my emotionally supportive baked good. My dog gets a jerky treat, I get a cookie (or three), and we sit in silence, staring out at miles of alpine wonder, soaking in the moment (and some serious butterfat).

This Cookie Deserves a Summit Photo

Why, gourmet hiking snacks: Because trail mix Is for quitters. This is the Hungry Mountaineer, official snack sherpa motto.

Why Am I This Passionate About Cookies?

Because I hike twenty miles a day on vacation, yes, as only a crazy Professional Dirt Walker would, and I deserve reward cookies at the top of every single switchback. That’s the deal I made with the universe. You give me blisters and rattlesnakes? I counter with browned butter and carbs.

The Universal Truths of Cookie Perfection

We all know the ingredients. Butter. Sugar. Brown sugar. Eggs. Vanilla. Baking soda. Salt. Flour. Chocolate chips. When it comes right down to the best chocolate chip cookie recipe ever, there are no substitutions. Put down the Splenda and whole wheat flours!

So why do some cookies taste like warm, chewy bliss sent from the heavens… and others taste like chewy drywall dust? (I’m looking at you, gas station bakery section.)

How easy is it to create the best chocolate chip cookie recipe ever? Well it’s easier then climbing a 14,000 moutain peak. I will tell you that! Let’s break down how to turn this basic Betty Crocker lineup into a mountain-top miracle.

Now let’s talk chocolate chip cookies.

Sure, you think you’ve had the best one before—probably during some post-divorce bake sale where Carol from HR brought her “famous” ones that tasted like beige regret and Splenda. But I’m here to tell you: not all cookies are created equal. And if you’re going to preheat your oven in August and turn your kitchen into a scene from Dante’s Inferno just to make cookies, they better be good enough to make angels cry.

These? These are.

Cookies So Good, You’ll Pretend You Like Hiking

In my family, we swear that Tollhouse cookies are the best chocolate chip cookie recipe ever. You better not argue. You damn better use Crisco.

If my mother knew I was making a cookie without Crisco, she would probably cut me out of the will. I just don’t understand why my Tollhouse cookies don’t taste as good as the ones my mom makes. It is the exact same recipe! I think it has to be that she beat the cookie dough by hand in the same bowl she has been using since she had permed hair in 1987.

Of course, really for the best chocolate chip cookie recipe, everybody has a different opinion. Some weirdos like them crunchy. Some heathens like them with nuts. Some crazy vegans use flaxseeds instead of eggs! And deplorable like me prefer them basically raw. Hey, I did survive a global pandemic. Yes, I’ll take my chances against salmonella. It’s taken so many years of research but this right here is one of the very best chocolate chip cookie recipes you will find.

My 5 Commandments of the Best Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe Ever (Yes, Ever):

1. Use Organic Sugars.
If your brown sugar is hard as a rock and older than your last ex, throw it out. You deserve soft brown sugar that melts into the butter like emotional baggage in therapy. And please, use real organic cane sugar. We’re not animals.

2. Butter, Darling.
Use the good stuff. Real butter. Preferably organic, salted, and from a cow who was massaged daily while listening to Mozart.

3. Flour Power.
Skip the bleached nonsense. Get high-quality, unbleached all-purpose flour or even pastry flour if you’re feeling fancy. It makes a difference, even if your taste buds are still numb from that ten-mile hike.

4. The Chip Situation.
Do not—I repeat, DO NOT—use Dollar Store chocolate chips. If they come in a bag labeled “choco-flavored bits,” that is not food. Get the good stuff. Ghirardelli, Guittard, or any other brand that sounds like Julia Childs would approve.

5. Vanilla is Not Optional.
Get real vanilla extract. Not imitation. If it’s under $2, it’s probably nail polish remover.

Yes, this dough is going to be wetter than you would expect. That is okay! Roll with it. Do not add extra flour. These cookies will also come out looking less cooked than you would expect. That is normal.   This cookie dough also spreads, so give it lots of space on the cookie sheet. Don’t leave them in the oven for extra time; If you do, you will end up with a harder, over-baked cookie.

Final Thoughts from the Mountain Peak of Cookie Enlightenment

Listen, you don’t have to hike twenty miles to earn these cookies. Maybe your Everest is just surviving Costco on a Saturday. That counts. Reward yourself accordingly.

Just remember, life’s too short for bad cookies. Or bad friends who bring store-bought cookies and say they’re “homemade.”

Simply the best chocolate chip cookie recipe

1/2 cup organic salted butter

1/2 cup of organic white sugar

1/4 cup of organic brown sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla paste

2 eggs

1 1/4 cup of flour

1/2 teaspoon of baking soda

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1 cup good-quality chocolate chips

Firstly, in a saucepan, add your salted organic butter. Let it melt and swirl it around constantly for maybe 2-3 minutes until the bubbles get darker and foamy. Set this aside for twenty minutes. When the butter has just cooled a bit, add in the sugars and beat with your electric mixer. Cream the eggs and vanilla with the butter. Mix in your dry ingredients that you have sifted together. Drop scoops of this onto a baking sheet with room for your dough to spread. Bake your cookies at 350 for exactly 12 minutes.

More cookie expertise from that high-altitude Snack Sherpa

Most importantly, these delicious cookies have no preservatives in them. You have to seal them up in a ziplock bag as soon as they are cool. Keep them in the fridge. When you are ready to serve them, put them out an hour before so they come to room temperature. I swear, a good batch of chocolate chip cookies only tastes fresh for two days but that could just be me.

I have tried freezing good-quality cookie dough before but I feel like the dough always takes on the smell of the freezer and doesn’t taste as good.