Amber Vs The Girl Scouts of America

All great stories start with a trip to the pit toilet. Well that is if you are a mountaineer who is camping anyways.

We arrived in Idaho with a bang and a snarling, barking dog fight yesterday afternoon. The drive into Alpine Idaho was extremely eventful as we ran into congestion on the backroad highways of Idaho.

Girl Scouts of AmericaBy congestion what I mean is there were close to 500 sheep in the middle of the highway being herded by shepherds and sheep dogs. Only in Idaho, right? This incident was a worlds different from a traffic jam one would find on Los Angeles 405 freeway where we are from in southern California.

When we finally made camp at our site in the afternoon I took a quick trip to the pit toilets next to our campsite because I really do enjoy toilets that don’t buck and kick underneath you on mountain highways when you need to go.

While I was enjoying the calming effects of a toilet that was not moving, 20 days of living in a 35 foot RV cumulated in a a canine meltdown at 5,000 feet. Our campsite next to the Snake River was one hundred percent deserted all afternoon until literally 3 minutes ago when I wandered off to the pit toilet. I was squatting and urinating and having an all around great time when I heard the unmistakable noise of our dogs murdering each other.Girl Scouts of America

Heavens, you can’t expect the two of them to share one ball! I jumped off the pit toilet as fast as my little hikers legs could carry me and careened into camp to the sight of my boyfriend and his daughter wrestling our dogs off each other and our old lady dog limping as the younger asshole of a dog had taken a good bite out of the old ladies front foot.

At the same time every single person at this campsite rolled into the deserted campground and it was like they were witnessing a cock fight as questions rolled towards our campsite over the crackling of our campfire.

Apparently in Idaho they are not used to dogs murdering each other. The campers in the site next to use converged on our campsite to check out the commotion of our pound puppy mutts noisy killing each other as we tried to calm them down. My boyfriend commented on how we had all of the Idaho Girl Scouts of America next door.

Well that was embarrassing, our dogs just tried to murder each other, I thought to myself as the Girl Scouts of America quickly wandered off, distracted by merit badges I suppose. This is what we get for taking our canine ladies for a day of fun at the river.

A few hours earlier we had rolled into… Idaho? Wyoming? I’m not even really sure  about two p.m. I asked our camp host if we needed to buy an Idaho or Wyoming fishing license and he didn’t exactly give me a straight answer, instead telling me all the best places to fish in the county. Which I can’t really do without a instate valid fishing license.

Am I in Idaho?Girl Scouts of America

Am I in Wyoming?

Girl Scouts of America
I really don’t know but I do know our dogs fucking hate each other All of a sudden. I was extremely embarrassed until about 45 minutes later when the Girl Scouts of America began screaming at the top of their lungs. It literally sounded like a bunch of drunk women were throwing singles at some chip and dale dancers. How are these noises coming out of the Girl Scouts of America, I wondered and how many hundreds of them are over there?!

It was so extremely loud that there was no way I could possibly relax by our camp fire and read my book. I grabbed the naughty little doggy and decided I would take her back to the river for another swim. We literally wandered along the rivers edge the entire Idaho sunset until 9:30 (You gotta love Idaho sunsets!) and I could still hear the screeching and screaming a mile down the beach!

By the time I wandered back to our campsite I was really hoping to finish my book by the fire but it was early 10:20 at this point and the Girl Scouts of America were still screaming at the tops of their lungs! I have done a lot of camping in my day and never ever, have I camped next to people so rude or disrespectful of other camper!

I caught the eye of our polite camp host as he went by in his golf cart and asked him if he could please say something to the Girl Scouts of America about quite hours being after ten p.m. His answer to me was

“Oh those are girls from the local LDS church. I’m sure they will quite down eventually” Seriously camp host? Is this not your job to make sure people are respecting the laws of camp, like quite hour? So I calmly walked over and asked the former Girl Scouts of America extremely politely even though I was pissed at this point to try and quite down and all these people from the LDS church looked at me like I was a crazy person for complaining about the raunchy party going on right nex to our campfire!

This was seriously not the best way to end our ten state camping adventure. This was our last night of our trip to enjoy a campfire and we couldn’t even sit by the fire because it felt like we were trying to relax with a Britney Sprears concert as our neighbors!

Suffice to say I stopped being embarrassed about our dogs prior attempt to murder each other.