This is what I suspect Obama Care Will be Like…

     You know you’re in San Bernardino when the guy next to you is watching wrestling En Espanol on his smart phone LOUDLY. Like so loudly I can not concentrate on my Anne Coulter book. When I can’t concentrate on her narcissistic take on liberals you know what? I get a little annoyed. I just want to say
  “Say Senor? Could you turn down Machu Libra please?”
   Every time I go to the doctor they have signs every where that say, IN CAPITOL LETTERS NOTICE, THE USE OF CELLULAR PHONES IS PROHIBITED IN THIS BUILDING!!!
   All capitols.
   Plus many explanation points. They are serious hombre!
  When I first arrived at the doctors office I had a fun time smirking at all the people on their cell phones, being rude. Okay my smart phone was actually dead or I would have been one of them Instagramming and Tetrusing away my boredom, I confess. But my phone was dead so instead I recorded all these snarky thoughts in my notebook the old fashioned way.
   Thoughts like WHY DID THIS OLD MAN SIT DOWN RIGHT NEXT TO ME! SO MANY OPEN SEATS! DEAR GOD WHY DOES HE SMELL SO BAD! IT’S NOT EVEN HOT TODAY!
   Luckily, surprisingly, after only a twenty minute wait I was called into a exam room and away from Mr Smelly Pants (Or arm pits, more precisely) The RN who helped me was even friendly as he took my (Why do I want to say oil pressure?) blood pressure. He complimented my boots and even got me a cup of water! What a nice young man! I love this place!
  Remember those happy thoughts.
   For those were the good old days.
   I made the mistake of saying to the fashionable RN,
   “Wow, that wait was not bad at all!”
   Fashion Happy RN left me alone with my beverage and I relaxed and waited for the doctor.
   And waited.
   And waited.
  My back really did not hurt to bad when I walked into the exam room, but after forty five minutes sitting on a hard table and getting tense from agitation, my back was throbbing again. (I told the doctor last time, when I sit my back hurts the most, so why make me sit for forty five minutes? Why?)
    Forty five minutes had passed, my water was long gone and I was BORED. My phone was dead, and my car, with cell phone charger in it was sitting right outside the window, taunting me. If I had that damn charger I could charge my phone and be one of those rude people on their smart phone at the doctors office. I wanted that phone charger. I t was so close! I was agitated. So I did the only thing I could do. I messed with homeless people.
    Every time a homeless person (It’s San Bernardino, everyone looks homeless) walked by my car I would hit the PANIC button on my keys ands set off the alarm and watch theem jump, yes my boredom was intense.
   After the first forty five minutes of waiting I’ll admit it I was angry. So I stopped holding in the farts. If my doctor does not want a smelly exam room he should have been more timely! Also I know for a fact as soon as I start farting, blowing my nose, scratching my crotch a very hot doctor will surely walk through those doors!
    At this point I was starting to to wonder if a doctor even knew I was back here! I peeked my nose (Out of smelly exam room four) and asked another RN
   “Umm, I’ve been waiting a long time, does the doctor know I’m here?”
   Than she told me there were still two patients before me.
    Seriously? Does this trouble any one else? How bad is it going to be when Obama Care kicks in and every poor person in Cali is waiting before me to see Doctor Never Going To Show Up.
   How long is normal to wait and see a doctor? This seems to be the norm to me.
   In all I was at the doctors for two and a half hours, oy vey.

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