Notorious in Rosarito

                  There is one thing I miss here and now in 2014. No, it’s not VCRs or life before iPhones when we actually you know, talked to friends and family on the phone and didn’t live our lives through texting and face book. I miss Mexico.

               I have not been to Mexico since 2005 when the Mexican government told me to leave and never come back. ( or at least I think that’s what they said; I don’t speak Spanish)

               Thanksgiving day 2014 we have a Rosarito Beach adventure planned and as soon as we finished Thanksgiving dinner, Mexico here we come!
               Unless they still have my picture up at the border that is.

               Growing up J’s Grandpa had a string of beach houses in between Rosarito Beach and Ensenada. It’s about ninety miles from the U.S. border.  The drive is really beautiful; we always took the toll road along the coast. The drive is desolate, and you feel as soon as you get out of the slums of Tijuana that you really are in a different world.
                Four years ago J got married and we went on what would be my last trip to the beach houses to celebrate. This time her family knew we were heading down there and we didn’t just steal the keys to the beach house and lie to our parents like our eighteen year old selves used to.
               A storm had torn through the region in the months prior and caused a lot of damages to the houses. When we showed up we were surprised to find that the big house we were staying in had been completely remodeled! It was amazing! Marble counters, tile floors, a huge stone fireplace in the middle of the room, our Mexico vacation was off to a great start! We spent the first few days doing the beach thing, and then heading into Rosarito to drink Margaritas and pig out on street tacos. They were so good.
              Well that was before Adam and I got sick. All those years going to Mexico, we never drank the water, but finally Montezuma’s Revenge had found us. I guess it comes with the territory when you eat ethnic foods in foreign countries. At my work, people don’t even want to buy produce from Mexico, but one of the reasons I love to travel is I love to eat and experience new foods. 
                Adam and I tried to stick it out, but we really were not feeling good, so on the third day we said goodbye to the Newlyweds and headed back to Southern California. I was driving. Adam was way more sick then me.            
             Everything was fine driving back until I saw flashing lights in my rear view mirror. Shit, the federal’s. I wasn’t speeding; to this day I have no idea why they pulled me over. My already upset stomach began rumbling. I didn’t want to end up in a Mexican jail!
                The officer walked over to my car and I hand him my paperwork. We didn’t have Jenn with us to giggle and try to talk our way out of this with her high school Spanish. The officer wanted me to get out of the car, oh no. I tried my best to control it but when I stood up I let out the most horrible smell of my life. Yes, I farted on the federals and they quickly gestured for me to get back in the car. 
                They let me go. To this day, were pretty sure they have my picture at the border crossing and I have never gone back.
                I’d like to say that’s the end of the story but it’s not. We then got lost, at night in Tijuana, and almost ran out of gas. Then Adam shit his pants. 
                Although our last adventure in Mexico literally ended on a very sour not, I can not wait to go back, and I hope no one remembers me.


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