The Toilet Monster

If you don’t like reading about bowel movements you might not want to read this next blog.
If you do like reading about bowel movements, well you are just a weirdo.
Anyways, I am what we might call extremely regular, so this morning I ran to the bathroom as normally do, to ah, take care of some paper work.
I was still wearing my glasses, which somehow are extremely stretched out and too big for my head now. (I think my ex boyfriend, the one with the huge head, tried them on last summer)
As I sat on the toilet my glasses slid right off my face and were headed straight for the bowl!
“Nooooo!!!! ” I screamed while grabbing for them (This felt like slow motion)
I did save them in the nick of time.
The sad thing is this is not the first time I did or almost did drop something that did not belong in the toilet, in the toilet.
At work, I keep my box cutter in my back pocket, and MANY times over the years it has fallen into the toilet while using the bathroom.
They give me a new one every time, just so you know. I don’t try to “save” the gross one!
One time I dropped paper work down there and it blocked the toilet! We ended up having to bring in to fix it… I didn’t own up to that one!
A few weeks ago at work I almost lost my cell phone to the toilet monster!
I knew the trick of it falling out of my back pocket, as the box cutters do. So I was holding it in my arm pit.
Than it started to vibrate.
And it got away.
I so lucked out; it bounced off the edge of the toilet seat and onto the floor, which was probably slightly cleaner than the toilet bowl.
And then of course there was the time that I dropped my favorite lipstick down a portaloo at a party!
You see, my friend had hired some portaloos for her garden party from a portable toilet hire company similar to Let Loos.
However, while applying my lipstick inside the cubicle, my fingers slipped and my lipstick literally leaped into the awaiting portable toilet bowl.
I was devastated.
I just had to admit defeat and order a brand new lipstick as soon as I got home.
Safe to say, that was a lesson learned!
Have you ever dropped anything unusual down the toilet?
Let me know in the comments if so and we can console our bad luck together.

NaBloPoMo November 2012