Happy holidays. Now please pass the jock itch cream.

In Gavin Newsom’s California happy holidays really means record unemployment and homeowners not being able to pay their mortgages. But of course, our governor’s family-run wineries can stay open for business! “Let them drink chardonnay” It’s the first week in December 2020 and I would love to be feeling the holiday spirit right now but with the vet bills stacking up and my source of income just shut down (Again) until most likely the new year I’m not feeling very jolly. More like pissed off at this clown who dictates the state of California like he’s Stalin. And the way Comrade Newsom is governing California will most likely leave this state in an economic depression ripe with famine-like Stalin left Soviet Russia. I need some kittens to bring back my holly jolly feelings.

A Holly Jolly crackhead Christmas in Cali

Forget about the homeowners losing their second homes in resort areas because Comrade Newsom unheedingly shut down all Airbnb’s and VRBO’s, at least he’s working on legalizing meth here in California, so there is that! Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one not driving around this ski town going twenty miles an hour and blowing disgusting weed smoke out their car windows. Welcome to California, a state that is going further down the toilet every single day that Governor Hair Gel stays in office.

This is the time of year are rental cabins are usually 100% booked in this ski town.

Shutting down all of southern California was something we should have done here in the southland in the beginning of the pandemic. You know,  way back in April for an extended period of time like counties like Canada, Western Australia and Africa did. Wouldnt it have been smart to take the same approach as Africa where they know a thing or two about pandemics? But no, it’s a much better idea to open hair salons, bars and definitely keep those wineries open. Here in southern California especially in ski towns like Big Bear Lake or Mammoth Lakes these regional closures really hurt our local economy especially when so many people who own vacation rentals in these ski resort towns count on charging exorbitant prices for stays throughout the holiday season. People like me, who are employed in the short-term rental industry count on this employment to pay their vet bills especially when they have sickly kittens.

Let them drink Chardonnay

Unfortunately for us here in this ski resort hamlet, if Airbnb owners and the county, in general, do not comply with Comrade Newsom’s new rules and regulations, funding will be withheld in counties not enforcing orders. This hypocritical dictator has of course left his county in the Bay Area open for business even as people are dying daily from COVID19. Workplaces like Golden Gate Fields had an outbreak of over 200 workers just in this one area! But heavens! There is no way that Gavin Newsom will close down his personal county and stop dining out at his favorite Michelin starred restaurants. Closing down all eleven hugely diverse counties in southern California over extreme distances and lumping all their supposed COVID upticks together can shift the attention away from his irresponsible personal behavior. By taking away our civil liberties I guess this hypocritical blowhard feels better about keeping his family-owned wineries and kid’s private schools open; Business as usual in the Bay Area while the rest of California struggles economically.

Photo of Leo courtesy of my SIL Echo Woods Photography

Yesterday my biggest problem in this ski town was a terrible ringworm outbreak and washing every piece of laundry in our house, a seemingly endless chore. Most caring individuals are wearing masks in public, trying to stay six feet away and social distance, terrified of coming down with the dreaded COVID19 and here in our household, we may have exposed our family to ringworm from the sweetest little kittens we have ever met.

Organic deodorant or jock itch cream; Which is better to help you social distance?

Every time I shop at any retail location in the past six months I seem to have some stranger breathing down my neck or some old man trying to tell me a joke while being about two feet away from my MAGA face mask. Until today. Even before COVID19, I’ve always been annoyed by people in my personal space, especially strangers.  Ladies and gentlemen who also enjoy their personal space just like I do, I have found the secret to keeping strangers six feet away.

So happy and yes organically smelly at 10,000 feet

No, the secret to social distancing does not include hiking up a ten thousand foot mountain while wearing organic deodorant. Let me tell you, even if I smell like a wild sweaty mountain woman strangers can’t keep their distance in the local grocery store. But I’m not going to stop hiking up mountains while wearing organic lavender deodorant anytime soon.

The secret to forcing strangers to social distance themselves is buying a gallon of jock itch cream like I did this morning. If you hold a tube of jock itch cream out in front of you like a weapon, strangers will find themselves staying six feet away. It’s like magic. I felt like I was welding the tube of Lotrimin like a lightsaber while standing in line at Walgreens.


I guarantee if you stand in line at the CVS in this ski town tourists and strangers alike will actually stay six feet away from you if you are buying a big tube of Lotrimin and look pissed off enough. I’ve spent nearly a thousand dollars on vet bills for these cuddly kittens this November. Now our shithead Governor just cut off my source of income and now I have ringworm on my arm so yes I will stand here in my MAGA hat looking all pissy. Well, there may be other reasons to stand around in a MAGA hat looking pissed off as November turns into December here in 2020. Only some of those reasons have to do with the sickest kittens in Big Bear Lake.

The sickliest little kittens in Big Bear Lake

When I adopted Leo from an ass-backward cat sanctuary in my home town I did not expect to adopt a kitten who literally had basically everything wrong with him. He was the most playful kitten in the cat sanctuary and I looked past a tiny little issue with his left eye and into the sparkling blue eyes of a Norwegian Forest Cat. He was so cute and cuddly I just had to take him home. I had no idea the bald spot on his leg was ringworm. I noticed that and the bald spot on his mouth the first time I held him and truly don’t get why three separate vets thought this male pattern baldness in a kitten was something normal.

Ringworm family hugs anyone?

I honestly just do not understand how now little Leo the Leper has visited three different vets in three weeks, eight different vet appointments and they all seemed to think his bald spots, which are multiplying by the day, are normal. How have none of these three vets noticed a kitten who is slowly losing his fur like this? I’m not an expert in veterinary medicine and honestly, Leo has so many other problems that we have been concentrating on that I kind of thought the hair loss was not a big deal. Until today when I realized I might also now have ringworm. Also possibly everyone who snuggled these baby kittens yesterday at our Thanksgiving festivities may have been exposed.

Yes, I realize our governor Comrade Gavin Newsom would probably be laughing his presumptuous ass off at us from the fanciest Michelin-starred restaurant in the Napa Valley because not only did we gather as a family, we also sang and we all snuggled the kittens including little Leo. And now we all may have ringworm. That’s what you get when you revolt by hugging grandma like a rebel on Thanksgiving.

Happy holidays 2020 from the Hungry Mountaineer and the sickest cutest kittens in this ski town. And let’s all hope this economy gets out of the toilet sometime in 2021!


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