How to be a Prepper without being Labeled that Kooky Neighbor

Is it possible to live your life as a conservative without being labeled as a Patriot?  Just because I think Kamala Harris is an embarrassment to women doesn’t mean I support Orange Julius Caesar. But I as a conservative woman I do enjoy messing with liberal hippie strangers on The Facebook (I always just assume they are too high on the weed to articulate a point) from time to time. Nothing feels better than getting put in Facebook jail again (For being right, oh so far right…) I have a lot of loony conservative friends who are basically preparing for the end of days, The Rapture, whatever you personally want to call it. I really don’t see us living in any more of an apocalyptic world than the trash and feces-covered streets of Los Angeles have already become but also I get a little more worried about society every time we go through a nationwide cell phone outage. What I’m trying to say is I totally understand preppers and where they are coming from.

Why not be prepared?

When you hear the word prepper you may think of some crazed right-leaning relative who has a Trump banner in their front yard and a gun cabinet in their den. In these extraordinary times we are living through today, well anything seems possible. Why not be prepared? Some days my zany Patriot neighbor is sounding more and more sane and full of great ideas! These are unparalleled times and an uncertain world makes me think it’s a good time in history to be as self-sufficient as one can be. Take that class on canning! Learn it’s really not that hard to bake your own sourdough bread!

Just because I may or may not once upon a time have voted for Orange Julius Cesar for president does not technically make me one of those crazy conservatives. But we are living in unparalleled times. North Carolina is dealing with Biblical flooding right now. Many people in the southeast literally can not buy food because they do not have cash. Don’t you want to be prepared in these uncertain times?

Act of God or force majeure, are you ready?

Here in southern California I personally live in a rural mountain town that has seen unprecedented wildfires this fall. We have all of our prepper supplies boxed up and ready to load into the motorhome at a moment’s notice if we get evacuated again. I hope and pray our small mountain town will survive this wildfire season.

At the same time, it’s so hard to deal with all the assholes around me. I was out for a guided hike with clients this a.m. and came across campers, number one camping illegally, number two they had a campfire burning out of control and were nowhere to be seen. Camping and campfires are absolutely not allowed in this area right now. There is signage about it everywhere. You would have to be a real fucking idiot to miss these signs. But holy hell, we live in times where dumb-dumbs are just so common. All these outdoor lovers say they love this planet but they also enjoy illegal campfires, leaving their blue dog poo bags all over our forest and carving their names into each and every aspen tree they can find. Here in 2024, I feel like I’m living in a world where truly no one has any common sense anymore.

Prepping seems like it makes sense. Because believe me, it’s the last thing millennials are thinking about doing. They are probably way too busy on The TikTok.

Are you ready for the fall?

October and cooler weather I mean! Or possibly this upcoming election in a few weeks. Shit seems crazy now, what new dumpster fire madness could 2025 possibly bring? I feel like some days we are living through a Stephen King novel. So how can you prepare for a natural emergency or a federal disaster without going full-on crazy Glenn Beck prepper?

We all recall the pandemic when you couldn’t purchase toilet paper or pet food. This same kind of thing can happen again. The smart thing to do is be prepared.

So you want to be a prepper, kind of

• Have skills bro! Know how to can, make your own bread, start a fire, etc.
• Have a survival kit ready to go, water, first aid supplies, canned goods, etc.
• Know how to shoot and clean a gun.
• Know your neighbors. Communicate with them and know when looting or crime is happening in your neighborhood. Know who owns guns on your block.
• Have emergency supplies to feed your animal and pets for a few months.
• Know your area without using Google Maps to drive everywhere. How are you going to drive major city roads if we have another nationwide internet outage and your Tesla does not have working GPS? It is scary how many people don’t know how to drive to the Target in their city without the help of their smartphones! We used to use our brains to navigate city streets before AI.
• Don’t buy a Tesla! What are you going to do if the power grids go down and you can’t charge your fancy Cyber truck?
• Don’t rely on your bank. Keep plenty of cash on hand. Perhaps don’t bury it in the backyard like some people I know but keep emergency cash in your safe in case there is no internet or power.
• The same can be said with keeping extra gas cans filled. Where we live the power is turned off a lot in our town when we get 45 MPH wind gusts that can accelerate wildfires. When the power is turned off, you can’t get gas from gas stations and most businesses only take cash, if they are open at all.
• Do you have a generator? Oh, believe me, it’s worth it.  So many towns across the country are constantly without power for different reasons. Our generator has saved all the food in our fridges multiple times over the years.
• Starlink. A great investment if the internet goes down where you live.

I’m really not one of those loonie preppers. I mean, it’s not like I’m building a compost toilet in my backyard. No shit (Literally) some people do this. And holy shit, if Bob Villa from This Old House thinks it’s a good idea… But there are a few helpful hints you can keep in mind that don’t involve composting poo to be just a little prepared for the unimaginable.

• Keep plastic water storage containers on hand in case fresh drinking water is scarce.
• Purchase iodine tablets. Sure they taste terrible but if your water system gets contaminated in a natural disaster situation these can be life-saving for you and your family.
• Did you know that Spam has a shelf life of twenty-five years? My dad was a hoarder before being a hoarder/ prepper was cool. I’m pretty sure he might still have some Spam in the garage. Did I mention I ate a lot of Spam growing up in a middle-class family? Hmm, makes y’all wonder how much Spam Kamala Harris ate growing up in a penthouse apartment in the wealthiest suburb in Canada?
• Stock up on rice beans, lentils and pasta. Store these in airtight containers. You can buy these containers cheaply from the dollar store.
• Invest in solar chargers. I mean you want to be able to record all these prepper survivalist stories on your iPhone for future TikTok videos, right?

  

This last year I learned quite a few things to not only live a more sustainable lifestyle but also help out our family if we have to survive a natural disaster. I learned how to make sourdough bread and maintain a sourdough starter. I learned how to prepare my own mulch. I started roasting my own coffee beans. As much as I hate gearhead the nonsense lifestyle, I’ve learned how to change the oil and brakes on our vehicles. All these skills are oh so crucial to learn if a natural disaster should happen in our little slice of the world. In this day and age, it’s just a good idea to be prepared for the impossible.

Are you and your family prepared for a natural diaster?