Don’t be a Dumb-Dumb. My Commute Home

May 2018-

Sunday evening; five p.m.

I was just trying to commute home on our alpine edged mountain highways to Big Bear Lake. There had been almost no traffic leaving the Los Angeles area, I picked up my organic rotisserie chicken for the two hour drive and faster then you can say free range chicken breast I was zooming around the corners of the mountain highway towards home and three extremely busy days off from life as a handicapper at Santa Anita Park.  And then the traffic came to an abrupt halt ahead of me on the mountain highway.

One would assume it was just a traffic collision delaying traffic for a bit but this time that was not the case according to a brief search of mountain gossip and social media.

It’s 2018. Ask yourself, If you come across an active shooter what’s the first thing you should do.

A. Get all your kids out of your, relativelysafe SUV and throw the football around.

B. Walk your dog towards the crazy dude with the gun.


C. Stay in your car, lock the doors or drive away from the sound of gunfire echoing through the alpine forest.

Yep, tonight I was just trying to commute home from my four days at work in the smoggy city of Los Angeles down below our safe from crime most days, mountain communities. But being this is my life of random adventures of course either a Bambi has to come galavanting out of the forest straight into my SUV or a crazy dude with a gun has to go on a shooting rampage a quarter mile in front of me on the highway I commute home on.

And that’s how I find myself sitting in my car, stranded on the mountain highway, sheriffs, undercover cops, ambulances and fire trucks roaring up the highway on my left-hand side as traffic is at a standstill.

Well I mean except for all the foot traffic because literally all the tourists in cars around me who don’t know how to find the local news about just what the hell is going on, on these mountain highways, are out of their cars with their kids and families and going for a hike towards the active shooter.

Because we are in the forest bro! Let’s go for a hike!

I literally told maybe ten different people

“You should get back in your cars. There is a shooting up ahead, a guy with a rifle.”

And literally people are just ignoring me, playing catch the sports ball with their kids.

Am I the only one on this mountain top road who is aware of what is going on in the world? Does anyone have any of the smarts or situation awareness or how about common sense? In this world that we live in, 2018, a world of Donald Trump’s orange hair and mass hysteria over Koreas dictator and whatever Dennis Rodman tells him he should do next, maybe people should have just a little bit of common sense when they are told “Dude, there is a guy in the forest with a gun. Don’t be a dumb-dumb.”