Hey keto, I tried. I really did. It’s been two months of nothing but stress. Yet I cut out carbs ninety percent of the time. I haven’t even dreamt of a Sourdough English Muffins in weeks! My troubles began with a sprained ankle before Christmas. Then a very dear friend passed away after a battle with lung cancer. This caused me to want to bitch slap anyone I saw with a cigarette in their hand.
All I want for Christmas is no cankles
Then half of Los Angeles was on fire for a few weeks. This cataclysmic event caused me to feel rage at our dumb-dumb politicians who continue to destroy the great state of California. We used to be the Golden State. Now our beautiful state looks more like a toilet. Oh but according to senile old Joe Biden, the fire suppression was mismanaged because the fire hydrants didn’t work because the power was cut. Old man, Joe should just not speak at all if he has no idea what is going on out here on the West Coast. I’m sure Kamala Harris fed him that info because she was a state senator here in the Southland so she should know California, right? Instead, she blasted a Word Salad after a few too man
y glasses of lunchtime wine. Yeah, the fire hydrants were not working. That had nothing to do with the power being off. The hydrants are all powered by generators from well water. But old man Joe had to go out with a bang his last week in office with one more bit of ridiculous fake news bullshit.
MABGA
So of course then I hurt my back doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. Or maybe I threw out my back aggressively Trump dancing with my dog on January 20th. It truly is a bitch getting old. Now I just pray for MABGA. Yes, that would be, Make Amber’s Back Great Again.
So I’m sorry keto. I tried. I really did. But this morning, I’m baking up Sourdough English Muffins for my breakfast. I have so many scallions that grow organically in my garden, even in the winter months. This is a great way to use up any extra scallions you may have on hand.
Whole grain bagel, Beans Next to toast, English Cat Breakfast
Now please enjoy this photo of a Norwegian Forest Cat lusting after my breakfast. No, not a Sourdough English Muffin, but beans on toast, my favorite delight when in London. However, I do it with a whole-grain bagel and probably one-tenth of the butter.
Scallion Cheddar Sourdough English Muffins
1/4 cup sourdough starter
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon of olive oil
600 grams of bread flour
375 grams water
1 teaspoon rice flour
1/2 cup sharp cheddar cheese, grated
2 scallions, chopped fine
1/4 cup ghee
1/8 cup cornmeal
To begin your sourdoughEnglish Muffins, In your mixing bowl add your room temperature warm water to your starter discard. Add the honey. Set aside for a few minutes. Mix in the 2 teaspoons of the olive oil, bread flour and salt. Mix just a bit until you have a shaggy dough and set aside. Let sit, well covered for thirty minutes. After thirty minutes pull your dough together, maybe twenty times, doing coil folds until it comes together just a bit and has a shine to it. You can use extra flour or water on your hands to keep the dough from sticking to your hands or the bowl. Set your dough aside for thirty more minutes.
After thirty minutes, you will want to do six sets of stretch and folds, every fifteen minutes. Check out this video for what the hell a stretch and fold may be. After your sixth set of stretch and folds leave your dough on the counter, well covered overnight or for twelve hours to ferment.
After twelve hours, your dough should be a wet and sticky mess. This is when you ant to fold in the cheese and the scallions. Now you are ready to pull your dough back together into a ball and cold ferment it for 5-12 hours. The longer you cold ferment the better sourdough flavor will build. Use rice flour to coat the outside of your dough so it does not stick. Set your dough in a bowl with a clean towel coated with rice flour and set in the fridge, well-covered to cold ferment.
OMG (Oh My Gluten)
When you are ready to form your Sourdough English Muffins, remove your dough from the fridge. Cut your dough into 10 small pieces. Roll each future Sourdough English Muffin into a ball. Heat a cast iron pa and add the ghee. Place in your Sourdough English Muffin balls and press down with a spatula so they are muffin-shaped. Sprinkle cornmeal on top. When one side is slightly browned, flip them until the other side is browned, keep pressing them down so they are spread out well. Move the Sourdough English Muffins to a baking sheet and continue to bake at 350 for 12 minutes. Now because they do not have yeast in them, you will not get the little tiny holes in them like a traditional English muffin, but OMG (That stands for Oh My Gluten) are these good! Did you know that a lot of people who have gluten allergies have no issues eating sourdough? True story.
These are so fantastic with a fried egg and a slice of Ghost Pepper Cheddar.
Because you really can’t have too much cheese, can you?
