Vintage Tattoo

    It has been fourteen years since my first tattoo experience, a single band of horses galloping majestically around my right bicep. Except the guy who inked my tattoo in in the year 1999 apparently had no idea what a horse looked like. He drew on my right bicep what could only be described as a wildebeast and do for years strangers have probably thought I have an incredible love for the majestic hairy wildebeast.
   I knew I needed to get my tattoo fixed five years ago when I was shopping at the ghetto mall in San Bernardino and I was surrounded by a bunch of crack heads who proceeded to oh and aw over my wildebeasts
   “Gosh, ain’t it perty?” She muttered between the few teeth she had left and a cigarette clasped between Bertha’s lips.
   This has been on my mind for a while.
   I need to get my tattoo fixed.
   The problem is not so much cash related its the fact that I have a hard time sitting still.
   I had a feeling transforming my wildebeasts into ponies would require about two hours of sitting still.
   Today I sat still for two hours in a biker and low life infested tattoo shop and believe me, I feel like I deserve an award for one thing for sitting still for two hours for another not rolling my eyes constantly or making snide comments.
   My tattoo experience today was an adventure.
   The first issue I faced was the fact there was no parking at the tattoo place so I had to park in front of the Porn Palace.
    I’m sure in that two hours millions of friends, family and people who go to my church drove by and saw my SUV in front of the Porn Palace.
    As soon as I sat down in the swivel chair I noticed that all four TVs in the tattoo shop were all turned to the same horrible horror movie where every other word, and I am not exaggerating here, was the f word.
   Or the MF word.
   Or the GD word.
   I think it is quite interesting how the last five people I know who got new tattoos recently all got bible scriptures on their backs, or biceps or chest and I wonder to myself, these men are way more spiritual than I am, how did they put up with this setting?
    Some one should open a tattoo shop where it is more spa like with the smell of candles rather than cigarettes and man b.o.
    Maybe with a Christian radio station playing in the background, and not rap music.
   Maybe than I wouldn’t have to listen to conversations about “whores” and “weed”
   I know good people, who are Christians like myself, but yet want to get a simple tattoo, with a message they believe in, and I’m sure like me, would like to do it in a setting where we feel not surrounded by low life’s.
   At the same time I look around me today at all these people who smoke pot, live off fast food, frequent strip clubs and I think to myself oh thank God this is not my life.
   It was very interesting taking a walk on the other side of the tracks today, and yes it made me pity these people, living in a world I could never even imagine.

Comments

  1. opinion8dhermit

    There’s a porn palace in town? Since you go to the church by your old bus stop right…? How did I miss that last time I was in town? Not like it’s something I want to see.

    I agree about the spa experience tattoo idea! Like Aveda or Teavana but Tattoovana or something.

  2. Joyce Lansky

    That’s what I would expect from a tattoo shop, although I’ve never been in one or gotten a tattoo. The few times I’ve had henna tattoos, I scrubbed my hand red to try to get rid of them before the four weeks. I couldn’t handle a real tattoo. Tastes change with age, but a tattoo doesn’t come off too easily.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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