Tumbling down hills and Insulting my Neighbors

I thank god every day for stupid people.
Without them there would be no blog.
I would have nothing to write about. I mean come on, one can only write so many blogs about squirrels and her cats, right?

So, I find myself thanking god every day for putting all these idiots in front of me, on my roads, in the forest, at Walmart, where ever. Being surrounded by idiots is excellent for writers block. If you ask me, my favorite idiots, I mean if one can chose a favorite, would be the yuppies in their two wheel drive luxury cars with out chains on. Heaven forbid you put chains on a Lexus! I love to watch them stuck in the snow, getting their Ugg Boat’s or Coach Wellies all muddy. My cabin sits over looking the highway below, so I have a great vantage point on a cold snowy morning. It gives me hours of entertainment watching the snow pigs stuck in the cold, a hot foamy cappuccino in my hand, fire crackling in my fire place in the back ground. God, I love the mountains. I feel blessed every day to be living this life.
It’s nine A.M. on a Tuesday morningand I have already snow shoed four miles, shoveled my drive way and insulted my yuppie neighbor. Yes, I might live in the ghetto, but I have one, yes one yuppie BMW driving neighbor. He’s a weekender, has to be. Comes up to play in the snow, build fires and snow men, and absolutely never chain up his Z3 convertible, I’m sure.

Last night we got about three inches of fresh snow; not much but it will do. I have got to practice running in snow shoes. My 10 K is two weeks away. I drove home from work at midnight, the highway wasn’t plowed, it was still snowing and in the twenties. The ride was a little rough, but I have seen worse. I got home, made it up my street with minimal fish tailing, parked in the driveway, and lucky me, this time my car stayed in the driveway. My driveway is super steep and many times my car has slid right back out on an icy night, especially a night like last night when I don’t shovel it and just drive up over the fresh snow. Seriously, at midnight, I’m not shoveling, I’m going to bed.
Ahh, my nice warm heat blanket warmed bed in which I got no sleep at all. All night long I heard the beep beeep beeeeppppp!!! Of the snow blowing services, plowing my street until the wee hours of the morning. For the love of god, we only got three inches of snow! Was this guy new or just severely anal retentive? How long doers it take to plow my street? Most snowy nights my street doesn’t get plowed at all, so listening to Mr Plows back up beeps shouldn’t bother me that much, right?
I woke up this morning to a fresh coat of snow covering my neighborhood. Last nights storm was just lifting into the East and the pink clouds were moving out fast. I grabbed my snow shoes and I hopped in the car, thinking I would drive to the base of Keller’s Peak and snow shoe my favorite trail Exploration. Of course I didn’t realize that Keller’s Peak Road would not be plowed and there would be no where to park. It was only three inches of snow, but these tires I have on my Subaru right now are not the best, and I wasn’t in the mood to get stuck and wait for spring for my Subi to defrost.
So back to my cabin I went, strapped on the snow shoes and waddled my way past all the teenagers at the corner bus stop, who yes, pointed and laughed at me. Mountain children, they don’t get out much.
I tried jogging a little in the snow shoes after I crossed the highway and began my ascent up steep Arrowbear Lake Drive, but the road was plowed and icy and I was worried about messing up the snow shoes, oh yeah and also running in snow shoes up hill? Is really f’ing hard! The road wasn’t to bad, so I took the snow shoes off until Ijogged my way to the top of Ridge, a street that does not get plowed. That’s when I saw some big ass raccoon prints in the snow. Seriously, that must have been one fat ass raccoon.
I tried jogging in the snow shoes again most of the way to Keller’s and you know it wasn’t actually that hard. I just started to zone out, listening to Charlie Mars on my head phones, counting the deer tracks I saw in the fresh snow. So awesome to see those fresh deer tracks less than half a mile from my house, in the fresh morning snow. I learned I’m way slower in snow shoes. The run to Keller’s Peak road is usually doable in twenty two minutes for me. Today it took me thirty. Wow, I am slow. It must be all those Buffalo Wings I ate last night.
Yeah, last night was a rough one. I got the delicious Buffalo Wings from Von’s for my dinner. I meant to share them with my BFF Dan. He told me out right
“Do you remember how sick we got last time we ate those wings?” So I of course, ate them all by myself and had the worst indigestion all night long. I was throwing lettuce up on the empty shelves all night with a bucket next to me just in case I threw up.

So after my not healthy at all dinner the night before, I had some serious calories to burn this morning. Luckily it was a glorious winters morning at Keller’s. I worked up a sweat in those snow shoes, even though it was only twenty six degrees. There was no one else any where in the forest or on the trail but me and some left over wild animal prints in the fresh snow. An awesome morning indeed, well until I started my jog back, all up hill. Let’s just say I got exhausted fast. I forgot my H20 also, which made the run harder. I only ran about four miles this morning, but that was a hard workout, my first this season in snow shoes.
When I returned to the roads of my neighborhood, I took the snow shoes off and just jogged on the slightly icy roads. It wasn’t bad; I hadn’t even slipped even once and I was patting myself on the back about that when I glanced the traffic down on the highway below at me stopped. From my view point on the ridge line of Arrowbear Lake Drive, I could see the accident below me. A two wheel drive little Lexus sedan had spun out, hit the mountain and Lexus pieces were scattered all over the highway. Car accidents are obviously never funny and if you have been in one then you may need to find an attorney like Herrman & Herrman, PLLC for help. But this just shows how important it is to be prepared when you drive in these conditions. If you’re driving in conditions, don’t be like this yuppie. Traffic was stopped on highway 18, as I made my way closer to home and down the last hill. I was in full view of the highway at that moment, and I thought to myself, don’t fall on the ice now, all these people are watching you and bored. Than I fell, of course. That was a little embarrassing. I picked myself up quick, and sprinted across the highway. One of my neighbors, one I’d never really seen before, was chilling in front of my house watching the stopped traffic. He asked me what happened and I explained
“Some flat lander yuppie in a Lexus sports car hit the mountain, same place they always cause accidents” He than asked me how the roads were aside from that, and I told him they were fine, thinking this guy probably had a four wheel drive truck, like every one else in this neighborhood. We said goodbyes and he wondered off. Five minutes later, same neighbor drives by in the BMW Z3. Wops, I might have said a few things rather insulting about yuppies, that sounds like me.
Five minutes later traffic started moving again, and as I shoveled my driveway, I kept watching these flatlanders driving by at forty miles an hour in the snow, on the icy mountain roads and I’m just thinking to myself, it’s a wonder these idiots don’t cause more accidents!

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