That One Time I got in a fight with Jeff Siegel

If there is one thing I love more than the ponies it is cheese.

This may only be a funny story if you are a horse racing fan or (and) have had it up to here with technology.

Or if you really, really like cheese.

Tonight a Siegel stole my cheese.

According to iPhone voice text I mean Jeff.

Jeff Siegel is Santa Anita’s handicapper extraordinaire and according to my iPhone it was not the seagulls, it was Jeff Siegel in fact who stole my cheese tonight. But what does technology know? Stupid Bill Gates and his dumb-dumb iPhone doesn’t know everything!

To be fair I completely adore Jeff Siegel and listen to him every week on XBTV radio. Apparently I have been using his name quite a bit recently on Ivoicetext.

I was camping on the central coast and had just laid out my dinner for the night; buffalo and sweet potato chili cheese fries. It was about to get delicious at Morro Bay Campground.

I had just wandered briefly to the restroom and before that laid out all the makings for dinner. I had partook in a few pre dinner mango margaritas and was feeling rather relaxed as I skipped back to my picnic table a spring in my step and a growl in my stomach.


I was wandering slowly back when I noticed that there was a huge (hungry looking) seagull sitting on top of my PPs (Horse racing past performances) clipboard.

I thought how adorable; I’ll take a picture and Instagram it.

And that’s when the Siegel took off with my cheese in its beak.

What an asshole.

This particular Siegel. Not Jeff Siegel.

I then chased the Siegel through the parking lot. He was obviously faster than I (and had the benefit of wings. I just had a stomach sloshy with lime, mango and tequila) obviously Jeff the Seagull made a grand escape and I’m sure that asshole is going to enjoy nachos tonight.

Stupid bird. Back to handicapping.

Good thing I always carry a back up cheese.

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