Tail Gating in the Warm December Sunshine

    Only in American could you have a great time in a parking lot.
    It is December.
    And it is an eighty degree day.
    I am with one of my very best friends eating a Boca burger, sipping on a seasonal ale and yes, I just made parking lot guacamole.
Dude, tail gating is fun!
I am thirty two years old and I went to my first football game today, the San Diego Chargers vs the Cincinnati Bengals.
    Even though I spent hours sweating ( yes, hours sweating in the eighty degree December California sun, y’all from the Midwest can hate me now) I had a awesome good time!
    How did I not know that football games were this awesome?
    It has been raining here in Southern California for a week straight and most Californians I’m sure are sick and tired of the damn rain. I, however, love it. My knee, however, hates this murky weather. When the baromic pressure changes I can tell weather is coming like an old arthritic lady with pain in my hip and my knee. I’ve had knee pain for days and I’m so frustrated. I was doing fantastic with my marathon training! I was running fifteen miles with no soreness! Well, now I have not run in a week. I hate my body today.
     The weather prediction said a slight chance of rain for all of Southern California today.
    It poured every where in Southern California all day.
   Except San Diego.
    I made the two hour drive to San Diego very early in the A.M. and it rained the whole way. I was bundled up in hat, gloves, jacket and two sweaters. I was ready for a rainy day at Qualcomm Stadium. I would require many craft beers to stay warm.
    By the time I parked at the maddeningly busy and congested Qualcomm Stadium the sun was trying to emerge from behind the clouds and the rain had stopped. I parked in a random spot. I was pissed at the setup pf the stadium, my knee hurt from driving and there were a ton of spots where I parked so I parked a little crooked but wasn’t really worried, there was a ton of parking, what ever.
   I than limped across the parking lot, towards my friends who were already tailgating.
   Than I enjoyed many frothy breakfast beers (It was a morning game) Boca Burger goodness, and yes bacon, bacon, bacon.


   Before the game started, I wondered back to my car to put my things away. When I opened up my car a security guard came up to me and told me I had to move my car, it was not parked straight.
    I looked her right in the eye and said
   “I’ve been drinking, I’m not getting behind the wheel”
   “I need you to move your car ma’am! You are not parked correctly” She hollered at me.
   “I have had two beers! I am not driving, even if it is just to straighten out my vehicle!”
   At this point she got real snooty with me and I used my disability (Six percent!) as my excuse,
    “I’m disabled! Sorry if I didn’t park straight but I just drove for two hours and my knee hurts” I pointed at my knee brace and swollen knee and wandered back to my friends. Yes, my car was parked askew, but damn it, I am not getting behind the wheel while even slightly intoxicated! I don’t usually park like an asshole, I guess that is what I get.


   I limped back to my buddies and we made our way into the stadium. Qualcomm Stadium has a huge security checkpoint where your bag gets searched and they search you with a wand to make sure you don’t have a gun or a knife on you which is awesome because it makes the area safe, but it also makes me sad that we live in a world where you have to be searched before you go into a football game. I wonder if they do this at stadiums in Ohio or smaller towns or if its just in bigger cities. It makes me think about how sad it is that the world is such a violent place now. You would never see this at a football game twenty years ago.

    We were finally inside the stadium and it was such a fun good time! Every one was wearing Chargers blue and gold (My friends had let me borrow a Chargers t-shirt which was awesome because I had been super sweaty in my layers of sweaters.)

    Our seats were on the fifty sixth floor, which was fine with me. We had an awesome view! I don’t need expensive seats to have a good time. I laughed at some ra ra girls in Rock and Republic jeans who were like
  “OMG!@%#! I’m afraid of heights! I can’t sit up here!” Yes I rolled my eyes a little before they left and we had the whole section all to ourselves for our group of friends!

    And this is when they took my phone away until halftime
    Half time started eventually and I realized I would never make a good cheerleader. These cheerleaders must be so happy to be here today in the warm California sunshine in their skimpy outfits! Just think of the shivering cheerleaders in the Midwest right now! I could never be a cheerleader… Because they would not allow me to dance in leggings and a turtle neck
and also let’s face it, nobody likes a farty cheerleader.
    I spent the rest of my afternoon relaxing on the fifty sixth floor, watching the game and getting up a lot to pee than having a hell of a time climbing over the tall rows of seats behind Sarah while she hopped over them like Bambi and I yelled from behind her “Jesus Sarah, You are like a Gazelle” While trying not to fall on my face in my tall Steve Madden boots.

   Than Nadine winked at the chargers

 
 
It didn’t work they still lost.

Yet we had a hell of a good time watching.