Searching for my Sasquatch

     So I have officially reentered the dating world and I am really excited about this new part of my life! I’m looking forward to finding someone who like to do the things I enjoy and just going out and having a good time! To make things a little easier on me, to find that guy out there with my interests, I joined Even if I don’t find the man of my dreams, at least it gives me something new to write about.
    Oh man, here we go.
     So I would like to give the guys out there a few dating pointers to help them along.
     Number one, boys; When you write out a profile, use fucking spell check! Well, yes that is nice if you also enjoy the Saddle Ranch, but it is not spelled Sattle Ranch.  Also, if your going to email me would you please capitalize your words and not write them all together like a big run on sentence with no ending and no beginning and omg I feel like a five year old just wrote me a letter who taught this boy to write? Yea, its like that.
     Also a little bit about what not to talk about on a first date.
     Please don’t tell me you enjoy hunting for Big Foot. I am not going to do that with you and guess what? Now I think your a big weirdo. Keep your Sasquatch fascinations to yourself, please.
     I’m not looking for a guy who’s a genuis, but I’d like a guy who’s a little bit smarter then me. It would be nice if he knew the diffence between Mexican food and Spanish food. Do I need to explain they are different countries? They are not even on the same continent! One has lots of olives, ailo’s and squid (Not to mention Mojitos) and the other is all lime spice and horrible diahrea. (Note to self, do not brush teeth with Mexican tap water, again)
     If I meet you at a party and were having a great time and then you have to tell me its time to go because you are at said party WITH YOUR MOM and she’s your DD, so  yeah, you have to peace out? Yeah, I might laugh in your face no matter how cute you are. I can’t help it, its just instinct. Especially when you text me days later saying I looked so hot in my two piece. Two piece? Really? Boys my age call it a bikini. I feel like his mom wrote out that text for him. And for now on when mama’s boy texts me I will feel like his mama is coaching him on what to say. Oh and did I mention he’s unemployed? He may have been cute, but not that cute.
    So the whole reason I was interested in mama’s Boy in the first place was because I met him in the pool and he was talking about how Mitt Romney is our best chance. (Us poor little Republicans, that is) Yes, I went out on a date with a guy, just because I THOUGHT he was into Mitt Romney. Turns out I was wrong. One hiking trip to the creek with the guy and I find out he’s a pot smoking liberal just like every one else in California. He was probably just pretending to be a Republican because his mommy was around. I now regret going out with this guy in the first place. I guess he doesn’t through. He texted me for a week straight after our date, and then? He told me that day we went out was the best day of his life! Really? Wow. That is so so sad. I wish I didn’t have to see him again, but he left his pants in the back of my car.
     Okay I know how THAT sounds. Its not that dirty. He had to change into board shorts when we went to the creek, so he must have thrown his pants in the back seat of my Tar. I did not notice until days later, when I of course had a good giggle. The life of a single girl, right? Finding boys jeans in their car, te he.
     He also dosnt have a job, and I don’t know I guess I just want a guy who has a little bit of ambition you know? Although I do recommend dating a guy who’s out of work for one reason… He always has time to hang out with you! Okay, not so much fun when you ALWAYS have to buy the beer, though.
     Lets see, what else should you not tell me on a first date? How about how you drive for a major company for a living, but you vent to me about how you feel like you can’t smoke as much as you would like, in case they run a 6 panel drug test on you? Clearly, I made it clear I am a republican right? Also this guy looked like my brother. Yeah, can you say weird?
     The other night I went out with a guy who worked on the HBO series Luck as an extra. He put in his online profile that he enjoyed horse racing so I thought we would hit it off fine. Turns out all he knew about horse racing was what he learned while filming at Santa Anita for a few hours; not much. I was also annoyed that I asked him what the actress/ model/ jockey Chantal Sutherland was like in person and he just kept telling me she has a strong Irish accent. Umm.. She’s from Canada? Is he really that dumb he can’t tell the difference between an Irish accent and a Canadian one, eh?
     The modern dating life in Southern California; it is beyond special, but it gives me oh so much to blog about!
    NaBloPoMo November 2012


  1. Arnebya

    And now I can’t stop giggling. I admit to people watching when I go out with my husband or friends, just because the dating scene still fascinates me. I wish I could sometimes interrupt couples and say, dude, um, NO. I would have totally been able to tell the jobless mama’s boy to not say he’d just had the best day of his life. Maybe I just created a new job to aspire to.

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