This is the first in a series of blogs I am writing on keto Asian meals. But wait, can I say keto Asian without insulting someone? This is 2022 after all and I feel like it would be oh so helpful if FoxNews could just have a ticker at the bottom of the screen each and every morning with a list of which words I am not allowed to say starting today because they are no longer PC. Am I even allowed to say Keto Malaysian recipes; Shrimp and Chinese Sausage Jambalaya? Or will one of those words offend someone?
There is a reason I usually cook all our food at home in my own kitchen. Because going out to eat can be scary and panic attack inducing and that’s not because we are still in the middle of a global pandemic. No that was because my boyfriend was just molested by a three hundred-pound transgender individual while we were trying to have a relaxing night out on the town. This right here is why we can’t have nice things, like a relaxing night out on the town with no drama!
Love Malaysian food! Me too.
The real issue I have with this entire ordeal is how unfair it is in this day and age of #MeToo. If a woman was sexually molested in a crowded bar, other patrons would come to assist or at least not ignore the entire situation and act like it was not happening. It’s majorly flawed that in this society we live in the pronoun for whatever transgender individuals want to be called this week can literally get away with the most ridiculous behaviors and no one stops them because they don’t want to be called out.
Most mature adults want to treat other individuals with respect and that is what one would expect when enjoying a night out on the town. For fucks sake, I just wanted to enjoy a juicy burger that I didn’t have to cook myself, drink a light Corona and maybe sing some Dolly Parton at karaoke. I wasn’t expecting my boyfriend to have his own personal me too moment. I never even imagined that I would have to consider if it is PC to punch a transgender chick for molesting my man on a Friday night. Also, I could have a torn rotator cuff (That is a whole ‘nother story) so getting in a bar fight on a Friday night is not exactly ideal for me at the moment.
Are you not afraid of MSG? Me too!
When it comes to Malaysian recipes, is this dish chock full of MSG? Perhaps. I mean it is stir-fried up with authentic Asian ingredients like dark soy sauce and sweet soy sauce. What kind of world traveler is afraid of big bad MSG? How can you even devour delicious authentic ethnic foods if you are terrified of street foods and monosodium glutamate? Of course, this notion did get me in trouble last time I ate an exceptional ethnic meal at a Malaysian restaurant. This was over three years ago, you know, before the pandemic, back in the day when I had never heard of terms like gender shaming, identity lables or announcing ones pronouns when entering a room.
It was just as the pandemic was beginning in a Chinese lab in Wuhan and we were on holiday in London, having a celebratory flavorful and spicy birthday dinner with friends who lived abroad to celebrate Liz’s fiftieth birthday. Was this meal chock full of MSG? I’m not sure but it was still worth crying on the toilet for days, it was that delicious. That may have been the first time in my life I tried Malaysian food and it will not be the last.
This keto version of a Jambalaya fusion is one of many easy Malaysian recipes to toss together on a weeknight for an authentic delicious dinner that is not too complicated to throw together. And guess what? With the help of shirataki keto noodles, it is keto too!
Authentic Malaysian Recipes; Jambalaya with Shrimp and Chinese Sausages
1 pound jumbo shrimp, peeled and cleaned
1 pound of Chinese sausages, chopped into bite-size pieces
2 teaspoons sesame oil
1 package Healthy Noodle spinach shirataki noodles, rinsed so well and then rinsed again.
1 can of water chestnuts
6 whole red chilis
6 eggs, whisked
1 teaspoon white pepper powder
1 cup bean sprouts
Malaysian recipes; So much Soy Marinade
2 teaspoons dark soy sauce
2 teaspoons sweet soy sauce
1.5 teaspoons oyster sauce
1 teaspoon hot chili sauce like this one.
1 teaspoon grated ginger
1 teaspoon grated garlic
Firstly, fry the chopped sausages in 1 teaspoon sesame oil in a wok. Add in the shrimp just until cooked and pink. Add in the chilis at the same time and roast until blackened. Remove the chilis and set them aside. Add in the water chestnuts and cook for just a minute or two. Next, rinse the noodles with water. Then rinse them again. Then rinse them again. Rinse them until they are way less smelly and set aside. Mix the ingredients for the soy marinade and set it aside.
In the other teaspoon of sesame oil add the whisked eggs with the white pepper. Cook until just cooked. Add the (Hopefully less smelly noodles) and the sauce to the wok over low heat. Mix in the chilis and let the noodles warm up. Once the noodles are warm you can serve this delicious Malaysian recipe “Jambalaya” Garnish with the scrambled egg and the onions.