Imitation Krab Pasta Salad

I love taking a plastic bag of Krab salad on my long summertime hikes. I know, I know, it is all the trend right now to stop using single-use plastic entirely, but seriously, I have not used a plastic bag to bag my serrano chilis at the grocery store in the last ten years. Yes, I use straws every day but I recycle the same ten straws every day or until my kitten steals them and destroys them. I am doing my part to help out this planet I love but I’m also doing my part to not inhale as many carbs and pack a lil lighter to save my back on my fifteen-mile treks up 13,000-foot mountains.

Forget the reusable tubberwares, they just don’t fit in my tiny runner’s backpack on long-distance twenty-mile hikes. I need space in my pack for loads of water, sunscreen and yes, of course, lunch. As someone who normally lives the keto lifestyle, I even have started to put all my sandwich fix’ins in a plastic bag for hikes., sans the bread. I mean, every time I do give in and bring a fancy tuna sandwich, the bread always gets soggy three hours into my hike by lunchtime anyways.(Although my pup always does seem thrilled still to inhale soggy tuna flavored bread.)

This spring I invested in a new doggy backpack for my trail companion and man’s best find. The first time I strapped her pack on her lithe stinky body I made an amazing discovery. Speaking of plastic baggies; Now she could carry out her own poo and leave no trace! And also leave no trace of her terrible stinks in my personal backpack!

In this day and age here in 2021 it’s so common on social media to horribly bash people for wearing masks while driving in their cars. Am I the only one who has a stanky bag of dog poo in my Subaru, just left the trailhead and searching desperately for a trash receptacle? I think all those asshats bashing me for wearing a facemask while a bag of dog doo sits shotgun next to me, are the same snow pigs who are constantly leaving blue bags of dog poo on every trail in our national forests.

And speaking of facemasks, I was told recently while on holiday in Mammoth Lakes that my pup has to wear a muzzle to ride the public shuttle. When I inquired if she can just wear one of the hundreds of facemasks I now own, I was told no. WTF, really? I mean I have all these masks I will never use once this pandemic ends, plus I now have to buy my pup her own mask to ride public transportation. It just seems ridiculous. And it saves textiles to have her wear one of my masks that will end up in a landfill sometime soon.

The first time I whipped up this delicious summer salad I just needed to use up the imitation krab in the fridge. I’m one of those weirdos who likes krab with a K. It’s a cheap protein base. Until you open the packaging, it stays fresh in the fridge for weeks. But one thing about my cats. They know the distance between krab and crab. They are some finicky f******. That means finicky felines (Obviously)

Imitation Krab Salad with a K

1 cup imitation krab

1/2 cup celery, chopped

1/2 cups peas

1/2 cup shredded carrots

Krab with a K Salad Dressing

1/4 cup mayonnaise

1/4 cup Greek yogurt

1/2 a green onion

1 teaspoon chili sauce

1 squeeze of lime juice

Chop up the Krab with a K and the celery. Mix all the dressing ingredients in a mason jar and dress the Krab, peas, shredded carrots and celery with that to form the best Krab salad around.