I love all the smells of fall. Autumn days mean breathing in the scents of cinnamon, cardamon and fresh leaves under my hiking boots. And then I drive home to our cabin full of farting pets. I love the scent of those cinnamon pinecones, cloves and orange essential oils. What I don’t love is all the aromas that come with owning a lot of asshole pets.
Here in Big Bear Lake, we love our cats. Some of them we may love more than others. The dog can be quite an asshole (She is actually @My_Asshole_Dog on Instagram) She might be a great hiking companion but she also is very quirky, has terrible separation anxiety and will get into trouble basically anytime she possibly can. She is not to be trusted. Oh and now she might be going deaf (Or she could just be an asshole who is ignoring me) which is just loads of fun. When it comes to the smells of fall, she can make some pretty terrible ones. Especially if she happened to eat a dead thing she found in the backyard the night before.
The kittens on the other hand are more useful pets and not as dumb as the dog. They kill insects anytime they are not sleeping. They get three hundred bonus points for that. Especially as August melts into autumn here in our national forest and the insects have been just terrible this early autumn. As sweet and cute as the kittens are, they are also very farty little creatures. And then there is the dog. She is basically just a bitch. And she is also very smelly.
That dog is an asshole
I was never a dog person until one basically fell into my lap. I fell in love with a guy from India with a dog from hell. I’m mostly joking about Carly the rescue pug/terrier/beagle. But not about the love of my life.
But back to the bitch; Carly had mellowed out by the time I came into her life. She was five years old by then and had stopped jumping onto four feet tall kitchen counters to help herself to a whole rotisserie chicken. She mostly has stopped digging out of the backyard daily. But now she has begun howling anytime we leave her alone in the backyard for more than five minutes. And she has just decided that coming when I call her is not something she does anymore. She could be going deaf at the old, old age of ten. Or she might just have selective hearing these days. One way or another, she adds to a lot of bad smells in our home, not the smells of fall that I enjoy. As a cat person first and foremost, I have never enjoyed the smell of dog.
Leo the stinky Lion
Then there is Leo the Lion. Today Leo learned how to open the backdoor enough to grab a pine needle. He then holds the pine needle in his mouth as I chase him all over the house trying to take it away from him. And yes, he usually farts he is so excited by this game.
Leo is basically the same size as the dog at this point. He is still growing and still eating. He is going to be a year old on Halloween. I’m pretty sure this one is going to stay a young-at-heart kitten forever.
Leo basically lives in the kitchen. He is my sous chef. He always has an opinion on whatever keto treat I am whipping up. He can usually be found laying spread eagle on the kitchen floor with his mouth open, waiting for delicious morsels to fall straight into his belly. He’s so cute that he gets away with this quite often.
Sasha needs his beauty sleep
Sasha on the other hand is a beautiful Russian Blue panther who needs his beauty sleep. You can usually find him hiding from Leos’s antics. Unless there are flies in the house, at which point he will jump seven feet high to catch them mid-air. Sasha is also capable of causing terrible smells. There is nothing on earth that Sasha loves as much as water. He lives to drink straight from any sink. And he will drink from any water cup left unattended.
Dahlia is the old lady and the queen of the manor. She doesn’t put up with anyone’s shit. She’s usually asleep and if she’s not asleep she is looking terrified with her big Norwegian Forest Cat eyes, wondering what those kittens are up to now.
All of these very cute and sometimes cuddly animals add up to a lot of different smells, not always good ones. Sometimes I just want my house to smell like autumn, not cat butts. Now is that too much for any pet owner to ask? Luckily a fresh fall elixir is so easy and natural to make.
This anti-cat smell elixir does not require driving to the closest Sprout’s grocer two hours away to purchase clove and cinnamon essential oils. This elixir can easily fill your home with the smells of fall and not animal butts!
I can’t believe my house doesn’t smell like dirty animals room elixir
2 oranges, sliced in half
2 cinnamon sticks
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups water
Combine all ingredients in a pot on the stovetop. Bring to a boil then bring to a low simmer. You can simmer this all day or even have it in a small crock pot. Just add more water as it evaporates. You can save the extra in mason jars in the fridge once it cools. Just heat up again the next day to bring the smells of fall into your home. Add more fresh water as needed.