Falling off Toilets; Life with Vertigo

    I feel like Lucille Austero from Arrested Development.
    Vertigo is so fucking weird.
    Its hard to explain to some one who has never had it.
    At first its fun.
    The room spins a little and honestly you feel a little drunk, weee!
    Than three hours later you are puking none stop, you fall off the toilet and you are worried you wont be able to drive yourself to work the next day.
    It all started at three A.M. this morning.
    It was still dark, I woke up in the backseat of my car and the world was spinning.
    Yes, it sounds like I was drunk and truth be told I did have one glass of wine as I was making dinner for our friends the night before on our last night of Eastern Sierras camping.
    By the time I was serving up my famous BBQed Porky Turkey Burgers the one glass of Pinot Grigio had worn off.
    It had been freezing ( like lows in the twenties) the last few nights of camping so I had decided no more tent camping; I’ll just sleep in the back of my SUV ( A much warmer option)
    Every thing was fine until three a.m. when I woke up having to pee,  which is totally normal. But what was not normal was that the room was spinning and as I tried to get out of my SUV I completely fell out of the passenger side door. I tried to stand up and fell back over in a large pointy bush.
     A large, very painful thorny bush.
     As I sat there in the painful bush, my head spinning and trying to just stand up, I know it sounds crazy, but my first thought was, were there drugs in my wine (There’s no way there were, I  mean, we were in the Eastern Sierras, not some Las Vegas club!) but that is the only way I can possibly explain my extreme dizziness.
      I than managed to not pee on myself as I squatted in the bushes and held onto my friends Subaru so I would not fall over. (As I grasped the hood, I was so, so grateful (As my pants were around my ankles and I was trying to just not fall over and also not urinate on myself) that the alarm on his Outback did not go off.
     I went back to bed after that and I woke up in the morning feeling fine. I actually kind of forgot about my weird vertigo incident until later in the afternoon.

     I had just driven back from the Eastern Sierras, a five hour drive with traffic. As I jumped out of the car in Redlands to help my friend unload her supplies in the 103 degree heat I felt like I was going to fall over.
     The vertigo was back and by the time I drove home I could barely stand up.
     I am so, so blessed it didn’t get bad until after I drove home. My friend I was driving back with can not drive a stick and there is no way she could have driven my car home if this had happened earlier in the day!
    I spent the rest of last night laying on my couch with my eyes closed (Well except for that brief moment when I almost fell off the toilet. Imagine a toilet situation that feels like you are riding a bucking bronco. Yeah that was my night) Even with my eyes closed the room continued to spin nonstop and I was nauseous all evening. It was seriously so horrible and I had no idea how long this horrible feeling would last.
     Its now two days later and I’m still very dizzy but I actually feel good enough to drive now so I have been able to go to work. But I am extremely dizzy all the time and it never really goes away. It sucks. A lot.


  1. opinion8dhermit

    I had vertigo a few years ago. We were travelling, in Massachusetts, and I had vertigo for five days. It sucked. So I feel for you.feel better soon!

  2. kimjam

    I’ve experienced vertigo tied to heights, but not in all situations. For instance, if I’m walking on grated floors that are high up, lean over a balcony or even stand on that ground an look up at a tall building, it’s weird, everything starts spinning. It’s a crazy and occasionally scary sensation.

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