Choking, coughing and not shaving my legs

     It’s nine p.m. I’m in scenic and snowy alpine-lic-cous Mammoth California and I’m fucking choking.

     I have been coughing and drinking wine for two hours.
    Wine helps the coughing, right?
    Red hot chili flakes would be the source of my itchy throat.
   Our evening began hours earlier when J and I began the drive to Mammoth from Southern California.
    The drive went fast; we joked about our cougar life style.
    J was commenting
    “oh the Ancient Bristle Cone Forest has always grabbed my attention every time we pass the sign for it near Bishop.”
    She wanted to take her kids on a road trip through there and check it out.
     I told her to watch out for the whore houses.
    I had a good laugh.
    I drove that lonely highway last September through a empty desert, vacant except for wild burros, whores and blowing dust.
     Yes brothels like the Kitty Kat Ranch are legal and common place one hundred miles north of  Las Vegas. I told J, make a U turn on the 166 about thirty miles before the 266 so that your children avoid seeing the brothels.
     Other than that, the Bristle Cone Forest is pretty awesome.
    After a fast five hour cruise up highway 395 my friend J’s Mammoth man made us a dinner of spicy ciopino brimming with scallops, mussels and shrimp.

     When we walked in the door of his gorgeous oak walled cabin he was toasting chili seeds on the stove.
     We have all been coughing ever since.
     That was two hours ago.
     The ciopino was delicious and now we are all just getting dressed and prepared for the evening ahead.
     After two glasses of wine I told J sure let’s wear little skirts tonight; yes I realize it’s 18 degrees out in this frozen mountain village; the wine will warm me up!
     Than I realized I had not shaved my legs in days
( Well it is the mountains and it is 18 degrees, a girl needs to keep warm some how?!)
      Than I got dressed and realized my billowy knee length skirt and leg warmers made me feel like Liselle from the Sound of Music.
      So it’s back to leggings and yes leg warmers for me.

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