Today for the first time in my life cancel culture became my reality. I was put in Facebook jail for insulting our lovely tourists who urinate in our front yards and start bonfires in the ski resort parking lots here in this alpine town. I had no idea that calling these uncaring human beings Snow Pigs is not politically correct and therefore offensive to the masses. And yes, by the masses, I mean the liberal snowflakes who reported me to Mark Zuckerberg.
Why does Facebook take actions like this? Why because of course, they want to protect the dignity of the Snow Pigs. I mean the uncouth tourist who just threw a dirty diaper out the window of their Tesla. Now in my pre-Covid life, I used to take our truck and pick up broken sleds from the snow play areas once a week on my day off. Three different one-acre snow play areas usually means two truckloads of broken sleds. That is a lot of abandoned trash in our forest and on the sides of our highways, It’s about two Nissan Titan truckbeds too much. Didn’t we all learn not to be a litterbug in grade school or was I the only one paying attention on that day? Now that we are living in the age of Covid and other peoples filthy cooties I do not go out looking for truckloads of trash to drag to the dump.
This last week in March as the sunshine-filled our forests warmed up the snowy trails and began to make our mountains feel like spring was approaching, I changed my mind and decided to do the earth a solid. I grabbed my plastic gloves, huge trash bags and hand sanitizer and drove to the closets once a snow hill that the tourists like to frequent on the weekends. The filth in the forests just got to be too frustrating and I had to don a pair of plastic gloves, grab a lot of hefty bags and go pick up these slobs discarded Starbucks cups and way too many Doritos bags. Picking up flatlander filth honestly put me in a foul mood that people can be this incredibly ignorant, uncaring and uncivilized. So perhaps I spewed some truthiness in a local Big Bear Lake Facebook group and I might have referred to the tourists as Snow Pigs (Honestly it was one of the nicer things I could have said)
Welcome to Facebook Jail!
Apparently, in this year of 2021, you can’t insult a lazy moron who can’t pick up their own trash without facing consequences (On social media at least) Snow Pigs have feelings too you know! I mean, feelings besides self-righteousness to shit wherever they want, even right next to the busy highway, (I mean, I’m just saying, even my cat is smart enough to cover his shit and he has a brain the size of a quarter!)
The censorship in this country is out of control, I mean that is if you are like me and feel you have the right to express your thoughts. Such as why am I constantly picking up dirty diapers, broken sled pieces and cigarette butts from the forest floor? How are people this stupid and lazy? I remember once upon a time (You know back in 2020 when Donald Trump was still president?) when we had freedom of speech in this country. Such as the freedom to call tourists assholes without being shamed on social media and called a racist. This is why I spend so much time with my dog and not other people. You literally can not say anything to anyone these days or people get offended like whiny little bitches.
I spent the last six days picking up all kinds of disgusting trash, from dirty diapers to used sanitary napkins to a million Truly cans and many things much more disgusting. When I used my gloved hand to pick up a bloody face mask I truly hit flatlander trash bingo. And because I am me and I was all alone in the now once again pristine thanks to me, wilderness I did yell Bingo. My dog looked at me in a strange way but she does that quite a bit. This right here is why I would rather hang out with my dog, than other human beings.
Picking up discarded Miller High Lite cans and crushed Mcdonald’s cups puts me into one hell of a foul mood because people are truly snow pigs in this mountain resort town. But if you call them out for honestly acting like animals who are not smart enough to pack out their filth then watch out! Because someone will report you to the Facebook police and you will go directly to Facebook jail! Do not pass Go, do not collect your free $300 from the government economic bailout.
And that is when I got put on the Facebook shit list. Yes for the first time in my life I was put in Facebook jail. After a morning where I hauled out six giant Hefty bags of flatlander garbage from just one small snow play area, I was feeling in a foul mood. I mean what kind of shitty human being just throws their dirty used baby diapers, cigarette butts and thousands of Cup of Noodle packaging out into the once pristine wilderness? I mean who do these idiots think is going to come to clean up after their filth? Do they realize they are not at Disneyland?
Words hurt; If you are a snowflake
I had made some snarky comments in a Big Bear Lake Facebook group and I offended the (Probably Sleepy-Eyed-Joe voting) locals. I referred to the tourists as Snow Pigs, which is apparently an un-politically correct and racist thing to say. In these cancel-culture times, we are living in, everything is insulting to someone. How this is considered racist is beyond me although I think it’s embarrassing and shameful to the human race; The apparent disdain and disrespect these litterbugs have for our national forest.
So here I sit in Facebook jail. It’s quite the punishment. I can not post cat videos or Joe Biden memes. I can’t comment on the photo of the Trump Bobblehead my buddy has sitting on his work from home desk. (Making home office great again!)I can’t share my newest blog or show the world what delicious gluten-free baked goods I made this week. All thanks to cancel-culture and liberal snowflakes crying they are offended by my words.
I have been banned for one week from posting videos of the cute thing my kitten just did. Yes, I have broken the Facebook community standards for insulting the tourists who are poisoning our ecosystem with their trash. I’m the bad guy here. Has anyone else noticed our society is going down in flames when the individuals who don’t break the laws, don’t trespass on private property and don’t throw vodka bottles out of the windows of their Range Rover to spread shards of glass all over the highway are the bad guys?
Welcome to the backwards world we are living in here in the year 2021. Are you conservative in your thoughts whatsoever? Well, get ready to be censored because your words hurt the big snowflake babies who are taking over this country. There is no such thing as free speech anymore here in the once God ‘Ol ‘Merica. There is always a big liberal cry baby who is offended and they are the ones catered to all over social media sites.
This story may sound infuriating. The only thing that pisses me off more than picking up used facemasks that flatlanders leave behind in the snow is when I complain about it on social media and am told it’s not PC to call the tourist’s snow pigs. Yes, in a ski town, you are not supposed to complain about the tourists shitting in your front yard. And especially don’t call them anything insulting! That is cancel-culture for you; Everyone is a big baby.
The absolute best part of this story is when I called to tell my dad about it. First I had to explain to him what facebook jail is (When all the little bitches on social media get their panties in a wad about something most likely I said that was still politically correct yesterday but is not twenty-four hours later according to the liberal left. That is when The Facebook insists that anyone who once voted for any of the Bush family has to take a Facebook timeout) My dad was insistent that I should sue Facebook. Then he told me that Facebook should offer me an apology. Sure dad, I’ll just text Mark Zuckerberg right now and ask where my apology letter is.