12 Days of India Christmas

It was Christmas time 2016 and we wanted to experience the holiday season somewhere hot and humid where we would not stop sweating for days. Let’s go to tropical Kerala India! Who does not need a tropical beach vacation sipping beer cocktails poolside during the hustle and bustle of the holiday season? We left our rented Bangalore apartment before the sun had even begun to rise over this cow infested city and were hopping in an Ola hired car before you could say “Mistletoe”

Our hopes were high for a relaxing few days in the tropical jungle at the very southern tip of India, and then our plane stopped boarding forty-five minutes before take off and refused us entry. It was ridiculous. Apparently, this cheap IndiGo Airline is world famous for pulling this shit on customers who merely want to travel to an awesome holiday destination. My Christmas cheer was running low when I found  myself stranded at an airport in India smelling terrible India smells for ten hours while we should have been in our floating cottage over the ocean. But when you do get stranded at an airport for twelve hours and have an eleven-year-old at your side, you can’t cuss or shout and roll your eyes and cause a scene. Instead, you can rewrite classic Christmas songs!

The day before this IndiGo Airlines shit show, we passed people walking the six hundred kilometers to our eventual travel destination, Kerala on a pilgrimage. After missing our morning flight from IndiGo Air, a joke of an airline, and wasting an entire day of our holiday at the airport waiting for our next flight, we joked that we should walk and do our own pilgrimage to Kerala; we might get there faster!

The 12 Days of Christmas in India

On the first day of Christmas India gave to me a bowl of chicken curry.

On the second day of Christmas India gave to me two families on motorbikes and a bowl of chicken curry.

On the third day of Christmas India gave to me three curry bums, two families on motorbikes and a bowl of chicken curry.

On the fourth day of Christmas India gave to me four sari wearing jaywalkers, three curry bums, two families on motorbikes and a bowl of chicken curry.

On the fifth day of Christmas India to me five trasssshhhhh eating cowwwsssss!

Four sari wearing jaywalkers, three curry bums, two families on motorbikes and a bowl of chicken curry.

On the sixth day of Christmas India gave to me six dudes a pee’ in, five trasssshhhh eating cowwwssss, four sari wearing jaywalkers, three curry bums, two families on motorbikes, and a bowl of chicken curry.

On the seventh day of Christmas India gave to me, seven farting bullocks, six dudes a pee’ in, five trasssshhhh eating cowwwssss, four sari wearing jaywalkers, three curry bums, two families on motorbikes, and a bowl of chicken curry.

On the eight day of Christmas India gave to me eight rickshaws a swerving, seven farting bullocks, six dudes a pee’ in, five trasssshhhh eating cowwssss, four sari wearing jaywalkers, three curry bums, two families on motorbikes, and a bowl of chicken curry.

On the ninth day of Christmas India gave to me nine eucalyptus trees, eight rickshaws a swerving, seven farting bullocks, six dudes a pee’ in, five trasssshhhh eating cowwssss, four sari wearing jaywalkers, three curry bums, two families on motorbikes, and a bowl of chicken curry.

On the tenth day of Christmas India gave to me ten lost Ola drivers, nine eucalyptus trees, eight rickshaws a swerving, seven farting bullocks, six dudes a pee’ in, five trasssshhhh eating cowwssss, four sari wearing jaywalkers, three curry bums, two families on motorbikes, and a bowl of chicken curry

On the eleventh day of Christmas India gave to me eleven India nods, ten lost Ola drivers, nine eucalyptus trees, eight rickshaws a swerving, seven farting bullocks, six dudes a pee’ in, five trasssshhhh eating cowwssss, four sari wearing jaywalkers, three curry bums, two families on motorbikes, and a bowl of chicken curry.

On the twelfth day of Christmas India gave to me twelve dhobis washing, eleven India nods, ten lost Ola drivers, nine eucalyptus trees, eight rickshaws a swerving, seven farting bullocks, six dudes a pee’ in, five trasssshhhh eating cowwssss, four sari wearing jaywalkers, three curry bums, two families on motorbikes, and a bowl of chicken currrrryyy!!!

Comments

  1. Jenny -TraveLynn Family

    Ha! This made me giggle. We flew IndiGo a couple of times and thankfully we were ok. It was just getting to the airport that was the faff – we always had to leave 4 hours before our flight left due to traffic (we lived in Koramangala). And I will never understand how the contradiction of the holy cow eating trash in the road. But gosh I miss the colour and energy of India!

    Thanks for linking up to #fearlessfamtrav

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